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Latest Jija Sali naughty joke in hindi

साली – जीजू मुझे 500 रूपये दे दो अगले हफ्ते दूंगी..
जीजा – 1500 रूपये लेले लेकिन देना आज ही पड़ेगा..

Latest sexy adult chudai jokes message sms chutakla in hindi

BACHA MUMY KE SATH NAHA RAHA HOTA H MUMY KI CHUT PAR HATH LAGA KAR MUMY YE KYA HAI.
MUMY:BETA BILL. BACHA PAPA KE LUND PAR HATH LAGA K PAPA YE KYA H. PAPA:SAAP.EK DIN BACHA APNI BAHEN KE BOOBS PAR HATH
LAGA KE YE KYA H. BAHEN:BULB.EK DIN PAPA MUMY KO CHOD RAHA HOTA H BACHA DEKH LETA H.BACHA KAHTA H BULB CHALAO SAAP BIL
MAI GHUS GAYA H.
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MADAM:BACHO JISSE FIRST LESSON YAAD H MAI USSE EK KISS DUNGI.EK BACHA MADAM K PAAS AAKE BOLA MADAM
SALWAR KHUL LO.MADAM KYU?
BACHA:KYUKI AAJ SARI KITAAB YAAD H.
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EK BACHE NE MADAM SE PUCHA MADAM KYA MAI BAAP BAN SKTA HU.
MADAM:ARE NAHI ABHI TO TUM BACHE HO.
BACHA NE EK LADKI SE
KAHA DEKHA MAINE KAHA THA NA KUCHT NAHI HOGA TU YUHI TENSION LE RAHI THI.
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JIJA APNI SALI KE SATH CHUDAI KARNE K BAAD
PTA HAI TU APNI DIDI SE JYADA MAZA DETI H.
SALI UDAAS HOKAR:PHR BHI MERI PATI KAHTE H KI TUMARI DIDI JAYADA MAZA DETI H

Lates 18+ adult sexy non veg whatspp jokes in hindi

दुनिया के सबसे ज्यादा प्रेरणादायक शब्द:
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तू रहने दे भोसड़ी के, तेरे से नहीं होगा।
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आज का कुविचार:
चूत और दूध कभी ख़राब नहीं होते,
दोनों को जितना गरम करो उतना ज्यादा मज़ा देते हैं।
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खत्म हो गयी तमन्ना-ए-मोहब्बत…
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अब तो लगता है चोदो और चलते बनो।
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आज का कुविचार:
एक थके हुए पुरूष के पीछे एक ‘Satisfied’ स्त्री होती है।

Wah Wah Pathan Ji

pathan Sahab Nadi Ke Kinare Ek Gadhi Ko Chodne Ki Koshish Kar Rahe The. Par Wo Jab Bhi Uske Adner Dalta, Gadhi Laat Maar Ke Niche Gira Deti. Ye Sab Ho Hi Raha Tha To, Usko Ek Ladki Nadi Mein Dubti Najar Aayi. Pathan Ji Ne Bahudri Dikha Ke Kisi Tarha Se Usko Bacha Liya. Ladki Ko Jab Saans Vapis Aya To Pathan Se Boli.
Ladki: “Pathan Ji, Aapne Aaj Meri Jaan Bachayi Hai, Aap Jo Kuch Bhi Kahoge Main Karungi”
Pathan Ne Kuch Der Socha Aur Bola.
Pathan: “Oye, To Fir Tum Hamare Liye Is Gadhi Ki Taangein Pakad Ke Rakho“

latest sexy adult non veg dirty jokes collection for whatsapp in hindi

अगर सम्भोग व्यायाम करने की सबसे अच्छी कसरत है,
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तोह यह GYM में आसानी से उपलब्ध क्यों नहीं होती….??
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योग मैडम:
बच्चों बताओ मै एक पैर पर कब और क्यों कड़ी होती हूँ…??
सबसे हौशियार जवाब:
मैडम,
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नहाने के बाद कच्छी पहनते समय…!!
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कॉलेज की ३ सहेलियां आपस में बात कर रहीं थी और एक दुसरे को समझा रही थी की उनमें कितनी गर्मी है |
1st सहेली: :”मेरी चूत इतनी गरम है की प्रेस करलो”
2nd सहेली: “ मेरी इतनी हॉट के चाय बनालो”
तीसरी ज़ोर-ज़ोर से हँसने लगी तोह दोनों ने वजह पूछी, तोह वोह बोली:
“यह तोह कुछ भी नहीं, मेरी चूत इतनी गरम है के गांड में भुट्टा डालो और चूत से चूत से पॉपकॉर्न लेलो…”
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बारिश में एक लड़की के गीले निप्प्लस देखकर कोई लड़का बोला:
आपकी हेडलाइट ऑन है|
लड़की: बीजली मेरी खर्च हो रही है या तेरी…??
लड़का: मगर बीजली का खम्बा तोह मेरा हिल रहा है…!!
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Q: हिंदी की सबसे छोटी इकाई को स्प्ष्ट करने वाली संख्या क्या है…??
A: झांट बराबर…!!
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अमेरिका में एक तोता हर सुबह:
‘Wake Up Sir, Time 2 Go Office’
आदमी का ट्रांसफर इंडिया में हो गया, और अब तोता बोलता है:
ऊठ लोडू, आज ऊफिस नहीं जाना गांड मराने…!!
कमाल का सवाल:
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टीचर: बताओ खेत में टट्टी करते वक़्त सुसु पहले क्यूं आता है…??
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स्टूडेंट: ताकि पाद मारते वक़त मिटटी ना उडे….!!
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pappu bosdika pappu hi rhega – adult non veg joke

पप्पू की शराफत
अध्यापक: तेरी शिकायत आई है कि तू गाली बहुत देता है।
पप्पू: घंटा! बहनचोद! मैंने किस चूतिये को गाली दी? पता नहीं किस मादरचोद ने आपकी गांड में ऊँगली की है सर! वो बहन का लौड़ा अगर सामने आ जाये तो उसकी माँ चोद दूंगा।
सर आपका विद्यार्थी गांड मरवा लेगा पर किसी बहन के लौड़े को कभी गाली नहीं देगा। आपको जरूर किसी हरामी ने चूतिया बनाया है और आप उस भड़वे की बातों में आ गए।

akbar birbal tansen sexy adult non veg story in hindi

To bhaiyon yeh baat hai Akbar ke zamane ki….

Usne 9 chutiye lundoore paal rakhe the..

Popularly known as his 9 ratans…!!!

Birbal aur Tansen me bada Kaampeeteesan raha karta
tha…

EK din gusse me aake Tansen kehta hai ki ” Ab faisla
ho hi jaye ki kaun zyada bada betichod hai???? main shart marta hoon ki main Jodha bai ke mammey choos sakta hoon”

Birbal ki has has ke gaand me dard ho gaya… Kehta hai ki “Agar toone aisa kar diya to agle din bhari sabha me mai nangaa aaunga”…

Bas fir hona kya tha lag gayi shart…
Tansen gaya bazaar, sapere ke paas. kehta hai ki “Bhai, mujhe ek saanp chahiye, untrained aur bina zehar ke hona chahiye”.
Saanp khareed ke Tansen usko ghar pe training dena shuru karta hai. ek aadmi ka putla banake saanp

ko kehta hai ” BETA SAPPU uske tang pe kaat”. to sappu putle ke taang pe jake das leta hai…Aise hi training karte karte

sappu Tansen ka ishara dekh kar taang, haath gala ityadi ko dasna seekh jaata hai..

Jahan bhi Tansen ishara karta, Sappu waha das leta…Training karke sappu ab taiyar ho gaya Big Day ke liye…

Ab baat aisi thi ki Akbar aur Jodha bai har subah apne bageeche me sair ke liye nikalte the. agle din subah Tansen bhi apne sappu
ke saath bageeche me ja pahuncha…aur jhadiyon me chhip gaya…Jahaan panah aur begum ko aata dekh tansen ne sappu ko phat se nikalke zameen pe chhod diya aur ishara Jodha bai ke mammon ki taraf karke bola..

“BETA SAPPU dikha apna kamaal ja das le rani ke Mammon
ko….”Sappu phat se gaya, begum ki taang par chadh ke,mansal Jangho se gujerke chut ko par kar ke seedha ja pahunchta hai mammon ke beech vali khai me vaha se plan ke mutabik seedha left turn le ke chadh jata hai Top pe aur ek second mein saali ko das leta hai nipple pe…

Jodha chikhne lage” Are Mere randibaaj Akbar kuch ker
na”

Akbar to paagal ho gaya…”Arre bachao koi bachao meri begum ko saap ne das liya koi Bachoooo”

Tabhi Tansen nikla jhadiyon se, bhaag ke gaya aur bola “Jahan panah ek Upay hai mere paas rani sahebaan ko bachaneka.

Main agar zehar choos kar bahar nikal doon to aap gussa hokar meri gand to nahi katwa denge na?? Akbar bola Madar chod jo bhi
karna ho jaldi kar but

meri begum ko bacha le…phir kya tha Tansen ne phat se Jodha bai ko pakda, uske kapde Ranjit ki tarah fade aur mammey bahar nikal
kar chhosne

laga….aur poore ke poore choos dale…( Aur idher -udher haath bhi maar liye harami ne)

Birbal ne ye baat suni to uski gaand se maano Rocket guzar gaya…. man hi man sochne laga Bhenchod kal to lut gayee izzat, bhare darbaar me nang dhadang jaan padega….gaand lag gayi…Usne khoob socha, baal khujlaye (upar ke bhi neeche ke bhi) lekin no idea…Gaand jab khujayee to idea Lund ki tarah uchhal kar bahar aaya…

Agle din darbaar laga, Akbar ne sabke samne Tansen ki tareef ki aur kaha agar tansen me zehar choosne ki shakti nahi hoti to Jahan panah aaj randwe hote….aur akele apne aap hilaa rahe hote….

Tansen on other hand cud not wait for Birbal to make an appearance…khushi ke maare pagal ho raha tha ye soch kar ki jab Birbal bhare darbaar me nanga hokar aayega to Akbar ki gaand sharm se paani paani ho jayegi….YESSS….

wo birbal ke gaand pe itne hunter maarenge ki Birbal ki 7 pushte muh se hagegi….tabhi darbaar me hulchul machi…sabne dekha ki Birbal nanga hokar, apna lauda haath me pakde, dudta hua aa raha
hai… Bas phir hona kya tha Akbar ki gaand gusse se LAAL ho
gayi…bola “Birbal ye kya gustakhi hai???” teri himmat kaise hui aise nange aane ki??

Birbal bola “Haye Jahan panah mai mar gaya mujhe saap ne kaat liya …mere laude pe..”

Akbar bola “Tansen ja choos Birbal ka lund “

latest sexu adult funny jokes shayariya for whatsapp

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn`t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won`t change & she does.
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whales ejaculate 400 gallons of sperm, out of which only 10goes into the mates body. the rest is spilled into the sea. ever wonder why seawater tastes salty..?
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Jise dil diya who delhi chali gayi, Jise pyaar kiya who patna chali gayi, Socha jeene me kya rakha hai khudkhushi kar loon, Bijlee ko chua to bijlee chali gayi.
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Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do.
MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got
my nose in her armpit. Now what?
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The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good looking… So where are you gonna hide Me?
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british aged 90 married a 16yrs old.he had baby every year & bragged that his engine was turbo.when 5th was born the nurse said,check engine oil baby is black
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mohabbat ke bhi kuch andaz hote hain ,jaagto aankhon ke bhi kuch khawab hote hain,zarrori nahi ki gum mein hi aansu nikle,muskurati aankhon mein bhi sailab hote hain
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Q. – why dont men make hissing sound when they pass urine as women?
ans – Because they have a 6 inch. silencer
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Q. why were the animals laughing seeing the naked tarzan
ans -they were wondering how he had a tail in front
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bewafa sanam se cigratte aachi hai … Dil jalati hai magar hoto se to lagati hai .. kaisi rahi !!

non veg sexy adult jokes messages shayari for whatsapp

#1 Maut aur tatti, kabhi bhi aa sakti hain.

#2 Saamp aur chut, jahaan bhi milen maar do.

#3 Zindagi aur jhaant uljhe hue hain, use suljhane ki koshish mat karna.

#4 Samay aur chutiya, sab ka kat ta hain.

#5 Achi piyo kharab piyo, jab bhi piyo sharaab piyo.

#6 Paani aur land, apna rasta khud dhoondh lete hain.

#7 Beewi aur gaadi, doosre ko doge to chud kar hi wapas ayenge.

#8 Sardar aur suwar ke bachche, chote hi achche lagte hain.

#9 Doodh aur gaand, jab phatthe hain to aawaaz nahi aati.

#10 Rocket aur tharak, aadmi ko kahin bhi le jaa sakte hain.

#11 Choochiyaan aur jazbaad, jitne dabaao utne hee ubharte hain.

#12 Jhaante aur koylaa, hameshaa sulagte rahte hain.

#13 Tootee (tap) aur lauda, hamesha taidey rehtey hain.

#14 Tattey (Auntey, Gotey) jitnaa bhi uchhal lein, rahenge hameshaa laude ke neeche hee!

#15 Ladki kitni bhi lambi ho, mutegi to baith ke hi.

#16 Land ko kitna bhi jhadkao, aakhri boond undi mein hi girti hai.

#17 Chut chahe jitni bhi choudi ho jaye, marni to Lund se hi padegi.

#18 Choochiyaan aur khaini, jitna ragdoge utna hi majaa ayega.

#19 Chut aur Daaru, kabhi bhee jhooti nahi hoti hain.

#20 Kutte ko mootne ke liye aur Ladki ko chudne ke liye, taang uthani
hi padti hai.

#21 Chut aur Bhut, Kismat walon ko hi dikhte hain.

#22 Naan aur Kutte ka lauda, andar jakar hi phoolte hain.

#23 Lohe par Hathoda aur Chut par Loda, tabhi maro jab garam ho.

#24 Ladki aur Audio cassete, dono side se bajaana chahiye.

#25 Exam ki taiyari mein ek ghanta aur daaru mein ek peg, hamesha kum rahte hain.

#26 Chut saal mein do hi baar maro, ek jis din baarish ho aur doosre us din jab baarish na ho.

#27 Lund aur Ghamand, dono ko kaabu mein rakhne mein hi bhalai hai.

#28 Baagi aur mamme , jahan bhee mile , masal dene chahiye.

#29 Samay se pahle aur Kismat se achhi chut, na kisi ko mili hai, na milegi.

#30 Jab kismat mein likhe ho lode, to kahan se milenge pakode.

#31 adami aur chuha hamesha ched ki taraf bhagta hai

#32 baasi choot aur purana akhbaar, jahan dikhe faad do!

#33 hari jhandi aur randi ko dekte hi bhaag lo!

#34 musibat aur land kabhi bhi khada ho sakta hai!

#35 Naukari aur gaand sabki lagti hai.

#36 Kamaan se nikala Teer jitna tez ho, aur Gand se nikala paad jitni dhire ho utani hi asardar hoti hai!

#37 Kamaan se nikala Teer aur gaand se nikla goo kabhi vapas nahin aata hai

#38 Jaban aur land dono me haddi nahi hoti!

#39 Nayee chut ka maza nau din tak hota hai!

#40 Admi kitna bhi gora ho, land baki badan se kala hi hota hai!

#41 Dusri naukari aur dusri aurat hardam achi hi lagti hai!

#42 Stree se aayu, purush se aay (income) aur sardar se kabhi time nahi puchhana chahiye!

#43 Bhajan, Bhojan aur Chodan hamesha ekaant main karne chahiye.

#44 Chut, Boot aur Rangroop ko jitna ragdoge utni hi chamak aayegi.

#45 Chut, Chuchi aur Chilam jitni bhi pio kabhi Jhuti nahin hoti.

#46 Maango usi se jo de khushi se aur kahe na kisi se.

#47 Jab bhi mile akeli, wo nahin to uski saheli, saheli nahin to apni
Hatheli…..but have sex daily.

#48 Kismat aur gaand kabhi bhi aur kahin bhi mar sakti hai.

#49 Ladai aur chudai mein sab jaayaj hai.

#50 Bahen ke lavdon, gaand mein dum hai to pachaasva khud bana lo.

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